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Writer's pictureAmy Taylor

Leaning


JOURNEY.


That’s the name of this Willow Tree figurine. A friend brought it to me in the days following Robert’s death to represent Song of Solomon 8:5a:

 

Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved? (ESV)

 

A journey had begun through a wilderness I could have never imagined. I hadn’t chosen or prepared for this journey. I didn’t have a map to follow or mile markers to help me know whether I was moving forward, backward, in circles, or standing still. My hands were empty, my heart shattered, and my mind a battlefield.

 

The one thing I could do was lean. Lean HARD on my Beloved, Jesus Christ, and let Him hold me up and lead the way.

 

There’s a criticism of Christ followers from the world that says we use Jesus as a “crutch.” I’ve always wondered why that’s considered a bad thing. A crutch is a support, and a person relies heavily on a crutch because they need help. Most often they can’t walk or heal properly without it.

 

I suppose when people call Jesus a crutch they mean it as an insult because the world focuses on self-reliance. MY strength, MY abilities, MY accomplishments, MY decisions, MY plans. Relying too much on someone else for help is perceived as a weakness. If you can’t go through life without a “crutch,” you’re seen as helpless, and I say “Amen” to that! I’m as helpless as they come and never want to forget that truth.

 

I don’t call Jesus my crutch, but if someone else does, I won’t be mad about it. I’ll unabashedly admit that I lean on Him every day and in every moment because I don’t want to do MY best stumbling through this life. The sole reason I’m coming up from the deepest, darkness wilderness of grief is because I leaned on my Beloved.

 

A beautiful thing happens when we’re leaning on Jesus . . . we’re no longer leaning on our own understanding. I have a miraculous story to tell you about that in my next blog post!

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